Bosty,
It has been some time since I have posted in here, but I believe you know that I think of you always either way. I'm still proud as ever that I am your mom and I am sending all my love and the worlds biggest thank you up to you.
When I use to speak of your death I would talk about how much it has changed me, but it's not just your death that changed me, it's the fact you lived. No where near long enough, but you did. It's your smile that I know some day I will see again. It's the memories I keep tucked away in the most sacred part of my heart. It's that even though you aren't physically here, to me you still exist which means you still influence my every day life and decisions.
Sometimes it seems more like a dream and I have to remind myself that your life really did happen. You are not a figment of my imagination, but my beautiful fat cheeked baby boy and it is my duty to honor your life each day that I am still here living.
I recently got a job unlike anything I have done before. I am a resident assistant in a facility that houses severely mentally ill adults. Since this is uncharted territory for me I was quite nervous at first, but even after only being there a month I couldn't be happier that I took that leap. For the first time ever I look forward to working and learning. Something about it just clicks and it has sparked something in me that I'm not sure I would have ever knew existed if it weren't for the fact that you exist in my life.
You have taught me profound patience, true kindness, and what it means to be resilient and persevere, and I now know that there are people out there that need the things that I know in my heart. I will always wish I could share those things with you, but since I have to wait my lifetime to do so I will share them with those who need it in your name.
I owe everything I am becoming to you. Thank you for making me better, chubbles.
I love and I miss you always.
